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justalilblondemama:

Accidental personal injuries are absolutely the worst. “Oh, how did you do that?” “Well, frankly, I’m an idiot.”

xsuperbubblezx:

weteevee:

parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

Believe me, I get it

1chainz:

80s music brings me back to good times like when i wasnt alive

colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

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offensed:

were gonna

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